April 17, 2006

Happy Easter!

"The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." -- Matthew 28:5-7

It's been ten days since I've blogged and I apologize for the delay. We've had so much going on with my leaving work, getting ready for the hospital and family coming in.

The great news is that everything is great! I saw Dr. Higby on Wednesday and got to see the girls, of course. They both look great, weighing in a 2lbs, 0oz (Faith) and 2lbs, 1oz (Grace). They are both measuring mid-26 weeks, which is right where I am. Good news all around with all of the other tests, too.

We discussed the use of steroids during my hospitalization and agreed that I would go ahead and have both rounds as soon as I got there. One dose on Tuesday, one on Wednesday. The steriods help to speed up lung development and brain function in the babies, but also only have a limited span of usefulness. If I am lucky enough to make it to 32 weeks, we'll likely have another two-day round of them again before the scheduled c-section on May 21.

I asked about side effects and what I could expect to feel after these shots. Dr. Higby replied, "A big surge of energy." I told him, "Why couldn't you have given these to be BEFORE I hit the hospital, when I really NEEDED the energy? What am I going to do with it when all I can do is sit in bed???"

My appointment with Dr. Harden was on Thursday and again, more good news. All looks well with the girls, my glucose test came back normal (no gestational diabetes) and my weight is fine (although I do not like what the scale has to say).

We sat and discussed the hospital and she told me that Todd and I would need to come into her office first to talk with her (presumably about monitoring sessions, c-sections and everything else) and then we would go over to the hospital, which is connected to her building.

So we set the time to meet her for 2:20. I kind of wish I had set it for the morning, though. I've been anticipating this stupid trip to the hospital for months now and I just want to get in so I can get out. Now I have to wait around all afternoon to go. I just want to get it over with...

Dr. Harden told me just to bring all of my stuff up to her office and we could just take it over to my room from there. HAH! This poor woman hasn't a CLUE what she just said!

In the interest of keeping myself sane during my incarceration, I have packed up more items than you could possibly imagine. A laptop (please pray that I'll be able to establish i-net access...), books, crosstiching (shut up), puzzles, movies and just about everything else.

My office gave me a going away party on Thursday and gave me a huge basket full of stuff to do from coloring books to trashy magazines. My dad and Jean came in for Easter and bought me a portable DVD player. ZZ loaned me about 15 movies from her extensive library. I have photos of Todd and Devin and little amenities to make it feel like home. I'm all set...if I get bored, it's my fault.

The truth is, though, I couldn't be less prepared for this trip. I am dreading it. In fact, dread doesn't even begin to cut it. I am loathing the thought of doing this. I know the end result will be two beautiful baby girls and that my risk of losing either or both of them comes down to just about 0% when intensive monitoring begins.

But that doesn't keep me from missing Todd and Devin. I think nights will be the hardest -- when the three of us usually have dinner together or play outside together. I will have a hard time when 7:30 rolls around and I should be giving Devin a bath and tucking him into bed. I'll be depressed when 9:30 or 10:00 rolls around and I know I should be going in to check on Devin (which is really just an excuse for me to coo all over him) and climbing in bed with Todd. I just hate the thought of being without them -- it hurts my heart to its very deepest core. Any mommy out there understands...

Thank you all for the prayers you've said for the babies thus far. They are doing great. I'd like to ask that you please continue to pray for them, but that you also pray for me, Todd and Devin. This is going to be a true test of our family mettle and I know I won't be able to survive my five weeks away from them without the help of good friends and divine intervention. I believe in God and and I believe God and I appreciate the prayers that you say on behalf of me and my family. In turn, I will pray for you too.

With a little luck, I'll be online quickly at the hospital. If something goes awry, though, I will have Todd post updates and messages here. I will have a direct line to my room, and I'll make sure that is posted, too. I have nothing more to do than talk on the phone, so please feel free to call.

Soon to be reporting from Methodist Hospital, the Medical Center, San Antonio, TX...

Erin