PoopapaloozaAnd Other "Shocking" Stories

This week has been a lesson in futility for Erin.

First, it started out last Tuesday with a major lightning storm rolling into San Antonio around 5:00 p.m. I was outside with the kids, enjoying an unusal period of dry weather. Of course, a roll of thunder rumbled across the neighborhood and down came the huge, "run because you've just gotten into a water balloon fight with God and are losing" raindrops. I shuttled the kiddos inside and soon the rain started coming down in sheets. Thunder and lightning made it interesting and Devin stayed close by me, none-too-impressed by God's show.

Now, being the industrious (and obviously brillilant) woman that I am, I decided to get some work done before I started dinner, knowing that Todd would undoubtedly be late because of the weather.

So I did some dishes. I stood with my hands in water, at my aluminum sink, which is placed in front of my aluminum framed window, under our corrugated tin patio cover.

Can you see where this is going?

BOOM! A crash of thunder came simultaneously with a flash of lightning which obviously hit somehwere very, very close to our home.

The electricity from the bolt came through the tin roof, around the window, through the sink and water and zapped me in the stomach. At first, I thought I'd dropped a breakable item and that a piece of glass had flown out and gotten me. But I soon realized that I had dropped nothing and that there was nothing broken anywhere around me.

I quickly turned off the water and the electricity went out. The kids were freaking out and I was trying to take stock of my bodily functions:

Heart beating? Check.
Lungs breathing? Check.
Eyes blinking? Check.
Ten fingers and ten toes? Check.
Name: Erin Pruetz
Eyes: Green
Age: 23

Okay -- I was all right, as I had not lost my delusions about my age.

Sadly, though, our phones and internet service did not fair so well, so if you've recently left me a phone message or sent me an email that I never responded to, now you know why.

Everything has been restored, except that our TiVo is on the fritz. We can't seem to plug both the TiVo and the phone in at the same time, so I have to make a choice: Pause-able, rewind-able TV or ability to make a phone call? It's a toss up, sadly.

We recovered quickly and Todd left on Thursday afternoon for his retreat. He was on a team for the first Teen ACTS retreat that our parish has done. He got back today with reports of an amazing weekend with some very inspiring kids.

While he was gone, I played single parent to the three kids. We had a good weekend, although I admit that we did not go a lot of places. We did got to Costco on Saturday and as I was standing in line with all three kids, who were crying and/or whining about various issues, a woman behind me asked, "How do you do it with three little ones?"

I told her, "There are a lot of tears shed. They are usually mine."

But the real excitement was on Saturday morning. Devin woke up at his usual time, around 7:30, and climbed in bed with me. I turned on the Disney Channel for him and snoozed while he watched. Soon, though, I heard the girls "talking" in their cribs and listened as they went from babbling to talking to crying to screaming. It was time to go get them and start the day.

The girls' cribs are positioned on either side of the door to their room. The way the door is positioned, though, you see Faith's crib when you first walk in. Around the door is Gracie's crib.

So I opened the door and there was Faith, standing at the end of her crib, doing her little, "Good Morning, Mommy!" dance that I just love.

But before I could open the door far enough to see Grace, I knew something was wrong. The smell. The girls' room smelled like the zoo. I kid you not -- it was the only thought that could get through my mind: This room smells like the zoo.

I continued opening the door and the stench got stronger and stronger. Moments later, the origin of the odor was apparent.

Grace was standing in her bed, crying, diaper still attached around her hips, but hanging down to her ankles.

And there was poop everywhere.

It was on the sheets. On the walls. On the rails and rungs of her crib. It was in her hair. Down her legs. In her ears and between her toes.

You have never seen so much poop in your entire life. How can so much stuff come out of such a small body?

I had to move quickly, running to get a pastic bag in which to put the soiled linens, a can of Lysol to disinfect everything that couldn't be put in the washer and start the bathtub.

In record time, I got Gracie cleaned up, her sheets, mattress pad and jammies into the wash and the poop off the walls and crib. All the remained was the smell, which took an entire 24 hours to get rid of.

Chalk one up for Super Mom...I had to laugh because if I didn't, I would have cried.

Most things are back to normal around here, although it seems that Faith may be developing another fever. We'll see how she sleeps tonight -- if she's up two or three times, it's a sure sign that she's got another ear infection.

More to come. Here's to wishing you a poopless night...