Another Milestone

Today, I took my first born and dropped him off at the local elementary school where he started Kindergarten. That little bundle, who came home from the hospital what seems like only days ago, is now in "big boy school." It was a momentous occasion.

The day started early for us, but Todd was home to celebrate the big event and we managed to get all three kids out of bed, dressed, fed and out the door by 7:20. We arrived at Devin's school and ended up parking in the grass, amid a sea of minivans and SUVs. We marched straight into the cafeteria and found the table at which Devin's class would meet.

We met Devin's teacher, Mrs. S., last week and so he spotted her right off the bat. Luckily, one of D's friends of his Pre-K days last year was also in his class, so he sat right down and began chit-chatting. Todd, the twins and I sat back and watched, snapping pictures and even taking a little bit of video.

Soon it was time to go back to the classroom and we followed 22 five-year-olds down the hall. We were behind the class and by the time we reached his room, Devin had already found his cubby and put his backpack away. He was looking for his seat and promptly found it. And there he sat, a Kindergartener among many.

There was a little ceremony at the flag pole shortly after school started, so we waited outside Devin's classroom while they talked about where they went this past summer, told a little about themselves, etc. I loved being able to peek in and see my son's interaction with his friends and teacher. I got a warm-fuzzy inside and felt very good about where Devin was.

We weren't able to stay for the ceremony, so as D's class walked down the hall, we said our goodbyes and gave our final kisses. I told him how proud I am of him and that Daddy and I love him very much. And then Devin looked me square in the eye, hugged me and said, "I love you, Mommy. I'll miss you, but I'm going to have a good day."

And with that, he was gone. Down the hall, in a straight line, remembering to be quiet and use his manners. My son, the elementary school student.

Todd and I were left standing there. We looked at each other, shrugged and said, "Well...I guess that's it."

So we shuffled out, quietly, and loaded in the girls into the car. Neither of us cried, though neither of us said much, either. We both sort of took in the surreal morning in our own minds, and dealt with the bittersweet feelings of letting go by ourselves.

I've had a good morning. I've enjoyed the quiet and not battling over who's watched too much TV or what we're going to have for lunch. I'm enjoying some one-on-one time with the twins and am getting some more packing done.

But as I type this, the whole event is sinking in and I'm getting a little misty-eyed. Devin is my true love -- I doodle his name in the margins of pieces of paper and my tummy gets all fluttery when he gives me a kiss. I still go into his room at night, after he's fast asleep, and run my fingers through his soft hair, whispering, "I love you," one last time before morning. I have joked for more than five years now that I have a crush on him -- I want to be his prom date.

But life goes on and I will let go just like my parents did and so many other parents have done. Devin will do great, will share his own personality with others and will learn life's lessons. It's sad that not every lesson is from me, but then I remember that I didn't learn everything I know about life from my mom and dad -- I learned them from the world and people around me.

So Devin, the world is yours. Go explore it, love it, learn from it and teach to it. I love you, son, with all my heart.