It's been a few days since I've posted, as nothing fantastic has gone on. The girls have been doing well -- tolerating feedings, spending good "awake and alert" time, responding well to their environment, etc. Like I said in my last post, we may even start trying bottle feedings next week. Yeah!
Today, though, brought a new saga to this already too long story.
Actually, it started last night when Todd and I got to the hospital to visit the girls. The nurse informed us that Faith's heartrate had been fluctuating up and down a couple times that afternoon. She's usually in the 160s or so, but her rate would drop to below 100 and set off all sorts of alarms and such. She was also having a hard time maintaining body temperature, staying only around 97.1.
I Kangarood her (we call her "Faitharoo," so I like to say I 'Rooed the 'Roo. We call Grace "Gracie Too" so when I Kangaroo her, I 'Roo the Too), which is almost a fool-proof way to steady a heartrate and bring up body temperature, but neither one happened. In fact, both dropped more. A totally weird occurance, apparently and I had to give her back before I was ready. Of course, I'm never ready to give them back. I'd like to hold them all day if I could.
We left the girls around 10:00 last night and I called this morning to check on them before I went in to see them. The on-duty nurse, Johnna, said that Faith had continued to Brady (that's what it's called when a heartrate drops -- it's not some weird name I made up to connect my girls with my favorite TV show, I promise) throughout the night and she was still hanging around 97.1. I told her I'd be in shortly and I was at her bed in about 30 minutes. Todd calls it, "The speed of Mom."
I asked if I could hold her to see if her temp and heartrate would go up and I was granted that permission. Again, both stayed down and even dropped a little at times and I was asked to put her back in her isolette (incubator). I got to hold Gracie for a while, as well, and I noticed that she was much more active. She reached out toward me, smiled, cooed and generally squirmed. Faith hadn't done that -- she was very lethargic. I mentioned this to the nurse and she agreed that Faith wasn't acting like herself.
I tried to stay until the on-call doctor came to see them, but I had to leave before they got to the girls. I called a few times this afternoon, but lab work wasn't back or the doctor hadn't seen them, etc. Todd went by the hospital after work and he spoke with the nurse and doctor. They're not sure what's causing these two problems (although it seems her temperature is on the rise again, thankfully. She was 98.4 when Todd was there), but they are putting her on a number of things to help alleviate the situation: supplemental oxygen push, caffeine (I haven't a clue...) and antibiotics, just in case there is some sort of infection that the lab work missed. Time will tell, I guess.
Needless to say, it hasn't been a great day for me. I'm pretty upset, although I know that Faith and Grace are in the best hands in the state of Texas. I just don't want my girls to suffer. They've been through enough and I just want their lives to begin in a happy way. They spend their days being poked and prodded and everyone upon everyone wants to see "those monoamniotic twins in the NICU." I wish everyone would get the heck away from them and just let them grow and become fat, healthy babies. This whole thing just kills me and I'm racking my brain 24 hours a day to find a way to take their suffering on as my own so they don't have to feel it.
On a lighter note, tomorrow I get to drive again. I have not been behind the wheel of a car since April 15, two days before I entered the hosptial. I am so excited to regain my freedom and not have to rely on others to drive me all over creation. Of course, now I have to rely on people to watch Devin while I go to the hospital, but I'll fall off that bridge when I get to it.
And, even better news: I finally got to see my twin girls together! I went a full 12 days seeing only one of them at a time (their isolettes are back-to-back) and I didn't believe that they were identical twins. They just didn't seem to look alike!
Well, yesterday, the nurse suggested that I hold both and it came as a huge surprise to me! I didn't know I COULD hold both! I jumped at the chance and within a few minutes, both girls were cuddled in my arms. There they were -- my tiny little Faith and my ever-growing little Grace. Faith's face is long and thin with a pointy chin. Grace's face is round with chubby cheeks. But it's the same face, despite the difference in amount of chub! They are identical! It was great to see them both, hold them both, experience them both at the same time. It's something I'll never forget.
I'll keep you posted on the girls, as we get more information. Thanks for the continued support and love. What would we do without you?
Erin
PS - Berta -- I still really want to talk with you! Email me when you have a chance! I am so sorry I lost your number!
2 comments:
Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future.
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Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.
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