March 31, 2006

I have a very interesting "comment" on yesterday's post -- it seems that my good friend, Karen Blake, wants to see photos of me at this rather large state-of-the-game. Hah!

Actually, though, I think it might be funny to put a side-by-side comparison of photos of me up on this blog. I have a photo of myself the day I went in to have Devin at 38 weeks. I'll take another, similar photo of my belly now at 24 weeks with twins and let you all see the real comparison. The only real difference will be the amount of grey in my hair!

Stay tuned...the photo of me pregnant with Devin is actually a printed photo (something you rarely see these days!), so I'll have to get it scanned. Our scanner bit the dust years ago. I'll get Todd to take a photo of me this weekend and, with a little luck, I'll get the two pictures posted on Monday!

Have a great weekend. Stay safe.

E

March 30, 2006

Yesterday was the day o' doctor's appointments: Dr. Higby at 8:15 and Dr. Harden at 10:15. Todd went with me to both and we ended up getting to spend half a day together -- ALONE! What a treat, even if I did spend a lot of it sitting on a table with the hubby in a chair next to me...

Both appointments went well. Dr. Higby appointments are always more exciting in that we get the details on both girls. We did a quick measurement of my belly and I am measuring at about 35 weeks. Remember: my 6 lb, 14 oz, 19 inch single-birth son was born at 38 weeks. That ought to give you an idea of my size. If the word "Whale" came to mind, you're right on target.

Again, the girls are looking great. Good movement (we got to see Grace yawn, which is no big deal in real life, but when you see it from inside your uterus, it's pretty cool!), good blood flow, good sizes and weights.

Faith: 1 lb, 7 oz, measuring at 24 weeks and 1 day
Grace: 1 lb, 8 oz, measuring at 24 weeks and 2 days

(At the time of the appointment, I was 24 weeks and 3 days)

We talked with Dr. Higby about the hospital and the probability of an "urgent" c-section (where they will do one quickly, but I'll have enough time to call Todd, have an epidural and be awake for the whole thing) vs. an "emergent" c-section (where I'll be knocked cold and Todd will get a phone call that says, "Congratulations, Dad!"). According to Dr. H, either can happen and it will more likely be one of the above vs. scheduled. There's just no way to know, but at least there is a chance that Todd will be there. It stresses me out to think he may not be there...

We left Dr. Higby's office and had some time to kill, so we decided to go over to the Lactation Place and buy the support girdle that Dr. Higby had been hounding me to wear.

Oh my Lord...I am actually wearing the thing pictured at the top of this page.

Todd and I were nearly in hysterics as I was tying it on! It's made from just about the strongest elastic you can imagine and I nearly sling-shot myself across the room trying to get it on. I managed to get it on backwards and inside out before I ever actually got it on correctly.

But, lo and behold, if the darn thing doesn't actually work! My back aches significantly less and I have a lot less strain on my hips! Thankfully, the thing is pretty well concealed beneath my clothing and if I weren't such a self-deprecating person, no one would ever know it was present. But since I can't keep my mouth shut, you all get the joys of knowing about my supportive undergarments.

After we bought "the contraption" (as it has come to be known in our house), we headed over to Dr. Harden's office. The last time I had an appointment, I saw the nurse practitioner, so we had four weeks of catching up to do.

We talked about the visit we had with the neonatologist at Methodist Hospital and told Dr. Harden that we'd decided on April 17 as our admit date.

We discussed the very bizarre Braxton-Hicks contractions I've been having (BH contractions are contractions that don't dilate your cervix, but that do cause a lot of pressure on your uterus from time to time. They are basically harmless.) that are localized to only one quadrant of my belly! She didn't seem alarmed by the whole thing, but did check my cervix to make sure I wasn't dilating. Nope -- I'm still as closed up as Fort Knox, which is good news.

I also had a Fetal Nectin test done. I had never heard this combination of words in my entire pregnancy (or last pregnancy), but apparently it's an indicator of whether or not you'll go into labor in the next two weeks. It's a pretty unreliable indicator, though. Check out the statistics...

If negative: 96% chance that you WON'T go into labor in the next 14 days
If positive: 50/50% chance that you WILL go into labor in the next 14 days

WHAT? Does this make sense to anyone? If it does, will you explain it to me? I realize that this is just something to rule out pre-term labor, but it seems that it's pretty ridiculous if it comes back positive. Anyway, it had me laughing, but I guess it means something to Dr. Harden...otherwise she wouldn't test for it. I guess. :)

We also talked about our 27-week decision. She asked, "Does this mean that if you go into pre-term labor or we sense some distress in the babies during one of your visits, you don't want to intervene?"

Boy, am I glad she asked that question, because she's got it all wrong.

"No," we told her, "We would want to intervene if there was any sort of indication of distress or pre-term labor. We just don't want to do intensive, 24/7 monitoring until we hit 27 weeks on April 17."

I am so glad we have that cleared up. I can't imagine sitting there in either Dr. Higby or Dr. Harden's offices and seeing my girls struggling to live, but not doing anything about it. It makes me shudder...

Anyway, that's the long and the short of my two appointments. I see Dr. Harden again next week, so I'll have more to say then, if not sooner.

Until then, thanks for reading.

Blessings,
E

March 20, 2006

Last week brought my usual every-two-weeks doctors' appointments, but I haven't been able to write about them until now.

Thankfully, there's nothing much to write! I saw Dr. Higby on Thursday and we had our marathon ultrasound (this one was the shortest of them all, though, at 45 minutes). The babies are both looking good, although they're moving an awful lot. More than I am comfortable with, really. The less they move, the less chance of one of them tugging too hard on an umbilical cord!

Baby A (Faith) is measuring 1 lb. 1 oz. and Baby B (Grace) is measuring 1 lb. even. Perfect -- the less discrepancy in their weight, the better our chances are for escaping TTTS.

Both girls are tracking along, too, in relation to gestation. Essentially, I have two regular-sized babies growing inside me. Scary. I'm huge. I'm easily as big as I was when I was 8.5 months pregnant with Devin. YIKES.

My appointment with Dr. Harden was on Friday. She was out, so I saw the nurse-practitioner. Just a quick ultrasound and an update on my weight (I'm finally gaining!) and stats. I was out of there in no time. No muss, no fuss.

My appointment with Dr. Higby did afford me the opportunity to ask a number of questions that have been weighing on my mind, especially since my "unfortunate incarceration" with the flu two weeks ago.

First, I wanted to know if I was going to have to be stuck with an IV in my hand the whole time I'm there. Now I understand why I needed it for the dehydration issue, but I couldn't imagine why I would need it if all I were there to do was be monitored.

Still, a few women on my Mo/Mo support group page mentioned that they had Hep-Locks (the port in your hand in which the IV plugs in) for the duration of their stays. Although it's not like being tethered to your bed with an actual IV, it's still no fun to have a two-inch needle in your hand.

Luckily, Dr. Higby assured me that unless I need an IV for something like fluids or IV drugs, they won't keep an IV or a Hep-Lock in me. Whew! That was my biggest concern. It's hard to even wash your face or brush your teeth with one of those in!

He also assured me that I would be able to wear my own clothes and not the hospital gowns (Old Navy here I come for a new set of cotton boxer shorts!) and that I can eat whatever I want, barring that I don't develop diabetes. There is no indication that I will develop gestational diabetes, so I'm looking forward to Todd sneaking some contraband in for me.

Additionally, during the times that I am not being monitored (I'll be given monitoring sessions three times a day at first), I can do whatever I want. Take a walk, take a long, hot shower, etc. He even mentioned that Dr. Harden may be willing to give me a pass or two giving me "temporary parole" to leave the hospital for an hour or two. You have no idea how excited that makes me. Sadly.

The monitoring sessions will be the most interesting part of my stay, though. Technically, each one should last an hour, should all go well. They will chart both babies' heart rates and monitor for any sort of contractions. If all goes well for 60 minutes, then I'm free to move about the cabin ... er ... hospital room.

But, if they start to see decelerations in one or both babies' heart rates, then they'll continue to monitor past the one hour mark. Some decelerations are normal, but if they happen consistently or the heartrates stay up or down for long periods of time, then it could be time for an emergency c-section.

Nurses come in, get the IV started and I'm out the door. Apparently, the record for my doctor is eight minutes. That's EIGHT minutes from the time they say, "We need to take the babies," to the time the girls are in their warmers. Eight minutes. That's pretty impressive, considering everything that has to happen to get me to the operating room.

1. IV and sedate me
2. Roll me down to the OR
3. Get me hooked up to all of the machines
4. Slice me open
5. Untangle all of the cords (one set of Mo/Mo twins took over 30 minutes to untangle!)
6. Get Faith out
7. Get Grace out

I'm no math genius, but that's about one step per minute. I could be that person being run down the hall with doctors yelling, "MOVE!" just like on my favorite TV show, "ER." And I am just positive that "ER" is just like real-life hospitals. :)

Now please don't get me wrong. I would prefer my children never go into distress and that this never happens to me. I'll be out cold, anyway, so I won't know the difference. But I would definitely prefer that May 21 rolls around and my doctors say, "Well, Erin, you've gotten to 32 weeks! Your husband is here and we're ready to go. What do you say we have these babies?"

So, I'm feeling a little better about my pending stay. I'm still not thrilled with the idea, but when Dr. Higby invited me to just "move on in" and make myself comfortable, I realized that no one thinks this is some sort of party. They all understand that this is incredibly hard on anyone -- especially a devoted mom and wife -- and they will do their best to make me feel comfortable.

I guess I can't ask for more than that.

Updates as I get 'em.

Peace.

March 9, 2006

Well here's a post I wasn't expecting to place. Guess where I just came from?

The beach? No...I wish!

An ultrasound appointment? No...believe it or not.

My front yard where I was talking over the hedges with my fellow "Desperate Houswives?"...no, but a good guess.

The hospital?

Ding! Ding! Ding! You win the prize.

Ugh -- it's been a week.

I woke up Monday morning feeling awful. I figured it was just the awful feeling I usually battle (you know, 21 weeks pregnant with twins) combined with a poor night's sleep. I got up, went to work and sat miserably at my desk.

I went home to get some work done (I can't get anything done in my office - I have to go home to do it. But that's another story for another time...) and ended up on the couch, totally wiped out and feeling worse by the minute.

Todd called me and said, "We're having computer issues and I have no desk, phone or machine. I'm coming home for lunch to kill some time. Want me to pick up Devin from school?"

Oh yes, please. PLEASE. I promptly changed into my jammmies.

Devin and Todd got home and I hugged them both briefly on my way to the bathroom to puke.

And that kicked off a long chain of events. Puking. More puking. A little more puking. A nap. Puke. Moan quietly from the bedroom. Puke. Dry heave. Go to bed.

I woke up on Tuesday morning and stood up. A mad dash to the bathroom resulted in more puking. Where was this stuff coming from? I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in 24 hours.

Then it hit me: I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink in 24 hours. Uh oh.

The contractions started. This was not good. So I called my doctor and they said, "To the hospital with you!"

So I called Todd (who was at work) and told him that I was going to Methodist. He suggested that he come home and get me but he works only blocks from the Medical Center where the hospital is. I told him to just meet me there in the Antepartum department -- I'd drive myself.

So I did and we met right where we said we would. The orders were faxed over from Dr. Harden's office and I was placed in room 154 and immediately plucked with an IV. Monitors were slapped to my tummy to watch for heartrates and contractions.

Now when I was pregnant with Devin, I got dehydrated and was in the hospital for an afternoon, so when the nurse started talking about what I'd like for dinner that night, I had to stop and say, "Wait a second...how long will I be here?"

"Well, at least tonight."

Gulp.

By this time, Todd had to leave to pick up Devin so I called and said, "At some point tonight, I'm going to need you to bring me some things. I'm not coming home!"

I spent the rest of the day being pumped full of fluids. When after two full bags of saline, I still hadn't peed, there became a little bit of concern and I was tested for a bladder infection. Aren't you all so glad to hear about this?

Finally, I had to go to the bathroom. By my calculations, it had been more than 18 hours. Pretty severe, apparently.

But it seemed to be working and I spent countless hours watching TV and napping. All in all, it was a pretty comfortable stay, save the darn IV. I hope to God I don't have one of those when I'm being monitored. You can't do anything with one of those in your hand! I barely got my face washed!

Todd and Devin came in around 7:00 to visit and bring me my essentials -- contacts case and solution, toothbrush, toothpaste. Devin let me borrow one of his stuffed animals so I wouldn't miss the cat too much.

They had to leave around 7:40 to get D to bed and I cried when they left. I felt so lonely and all I wanted to do was be at home in my own bed. I thought I'd never fall asleep. It wasn't the most relaxing night of my life, to say the least.

The next morning Dr. Harden came in to see me. I was negative for a bladder infection and was free to go after I finished up the bag of saline. She also arranged for one of the on-call neonatologists to come in and talk with Todd and me about viability and lifelong morbidity.

Dr. Molina (the neonatologist)arrived around 9:00 a.m. and Todd shortly thereafter. She gave us a lot of good information and we discussed what we thought was right for monitoring and possibly intervening for the twins. It wasn't easy. Todd and I got within a week of one another, but came to an impasse. He wanted 26 weeks, I wanted 27 weeks. We argued and cried and finally decided on 27 weeks. April 17 -- the day after Easter. It's set. I hope we're right.

I was monitored a little more and given my discharge papers. A little old gentleman from the Blue Bird Society (candy stripers, from what I can gather) came to my room with a wheelchair to take me to my car. I took one look at him and thought, "I should be wheeling YOU around!" He was a kind and sweet man, though. And pretty strong to be pushing me and my two girls around.

He wheeled me to the front desk where my parking was validated, to the garage, to the elevators and up to the 3rd floor. From there, he helped me from the wheelchair and held me by the crook of my arm while I walked to my car. He even waited to see that it started for me.

Now that's service!

And with that, I drove myself home! Todd's parents came to stay with Devin and I arrived home to lots of hugs from the three of them. Oh boy, did it feel good to be home.

I'm at work today, feeling much better. Co-workers keep bringing me bottles of water, so I don't think dehydration will be a problem again for awhile.

Ahhh...the life that is Erin.

Much love to all...

March 6, 2006

Wow -- what a consistent number of posts from me. How exciting. I hope I can keep it up, but I'm not sure I will always have such a large amount of news to share. I'll try...

A couple of weeks ago, Monsignor Fater - the Pastor and sole priest of our church -- called me at home. I was expecting a call from our Youth Minister, so I was surprised when I heard him say, "Erin -- it's Father Doug!"

He got right to the point: He said that he was holding our family and our babies in prayer every day and asked if he could perform the Sacrament, the Anointing of the Sick, on me (and subsequently the girls) at one of the Teen Masses.

I was blown away. The Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick is a beautiful and powerful sacrament, but Todd and I never even thought to have it performed. It really touched both of our hearts that with the large parish Father Fater has to lead, he still remembered us specifically and asked if he could anoint me. We enthusiastically said yes, of course.

So last night we attended 5:30 Mass where Deacon Jerry did a great Homily (sermon) on Lent. He likened it to a "time out" in sports -- a time to take a break, step back, regroup and reevaluate your strategy. It made a lot of sense, but, again, Deacon Jerry usually does. He's an excellent speaker.

After the Homily, Monsignor stood up and talked about life: about the sanctity of it and how it is our job to always respect it. He spoke of three older parishioners who are currently battling cancer and of his young niece who is struggling to survive breast cancer.

But then he went into how life extends past those we see every day and that we always need to include the unborn.

He went on to introduce me, "Our beloved Erin," (oh boy, as if I need a bigger head) and talk about our situation. He didn't mention Mo/Mo twins specifically, rather he just said that our twins are in peril and that they need lots of prayers.

He invited Todd and I up to the altar (oh the relief that Todd would go with me -- I was dreading going up there alone!) where he introduced the Sacrament with the Chrism, or holy oil.

He asked the congregation to raise their hands over us in prayer as he anointed both my forehead and hands with the Chrism.

Then he asked the congregation to extend their arms outward, like a hug, to embrace us as he spoke another prayer about combining our sufferings with the sufferings of Jesus.

It was a most overwhelming experience. I never cried. I never even felt like crying. Instead, I stood in front of 500 people and let their love and support wash over me. I felt the healing power of prayer, faith, belief and community enter my heart and peace filled my soul. It was incredible.

I still don't know if the babies will be okay (I have a good feeling they will be, though), but I do know that The Pruetz family will go on no matter what happens. We are so surrounded by love and support that no one will let us fall. We are going to be okay. I can say that without a doubt.

The real miracle showed itself, though, after Mass. We couldn't even leave the pew -- dozens of people approached us to give us their prayers. A good 1/3 of those people were complete strangers. Others were friends, acquaintances and loved ones affirming their prayers and support for us.

In one instance, a woman approached me and said, "I'm not sure if you remember me, but you were my prayer partner on my ACTS retreat," (ACTS it the retreat movement that Todd and I have been involved in for nearly four years). She went on to tell me that the prayer candle I gave her on her retreat sits in her living room and every night she lights it and prays for me.

I couldn't help but just lose it. I was so overwhelmed by this gesture. I had not seen this woman since her retreat and yet she is taking the time not only to pray for our girls, but to lift my family and me up in one of the most special of ways. I told her over and over again that I loved her. What else could I have said?

Another woman walked up to me and said, "I was on bed rest for four months with my first child and my second was born at 28 weeks. St. Gerard and St. Jude were my Saints during these times and they allowed me two beautiful and healthy kids. I am starting novenas (nine day prayers) to them for your twins tonight."

Again, tears flowed. This woman as a perfect stranger (her name, I later asked, is Bertha) and yet she feels compelled to pray not one but two novenas for the Pruetz twins. I hugged and hugged and hugged her. I didn't know what else to say but "Thank you. No words can express my gratitude."

Everyday miracles happen all around us. I've seen more and more of them since the Mo/Mo diagnosis. Maybe they're happening more often or maybe I'm just finally seeing them. Either way, my life is so full right now. The love of my friends, my family and my community have been nothing short of a miracle and the Pruetz family will feel, for the rest of our lives, as though we were truly lifted up in the hardest times of our lives.

If you're reading this, you're a member of this group. Thank you. There are no other words, but please know that you are never far from our hearts and that our prayers of thanks go out each day for every single one of you.

Peace -- so, so much of it.

Erin

March 2, 2006

This morning was our perinatologist appointment with Dr. Higby. Great news! The babies are doing very, very well.

Faith (Baby A) is measuring 20 weeks and 4 days while Grace (Baby B) is also measuring 20 weeks and 4 days. We couldn't be more excited because, as of today, I am 20 weeks and 4 days! They're right on track! (Betcha didn't see THAT coming!)

Faith weighs 13 oz and Grace weighs 14 oz. The discrepancy in weight isn't enough to worry about, but if they get more than 20% apart, then we start to look for other signs of TTTS. As of now, though, they're doing well. Good heartrates, good bloodflow, very little (if any) cord compression.

We got a 3-D image of the tangled mess of umblical cords. I'm going to see if Todd can scan it. You won't be able to believe it until you see it. The only thing I can liken it to is that collection of rubber bands that you have balled up in your office drawer. Only with less organization.

The cords are, of course, a cause for concern, but there is nothing we can do about them. We just have to wait and see. The girls could be alive and well until they are born or be gone in two hours. It's just the reality of the situation.

Looks like we're sticking with the April 17 date for hospital entry. That's 27 weeks, 1 day (I'm getting a one day reprieve so I can spend Easter with the fam). Todd and I will meet with one of the hospital's on-call Neonatologists next Thursday to talk more about lifelong morbidity and other complications that come with each week before 32 weeks.

*A note on the names. ZZ asked me this question and I thought it was worth posting.

If Baby A is Faith and Baby B is Grace, what happens if they switch places (they measure them by who is closest to the cervix)?

Well, here's what happens if they switch places: They switch names. If I can't tell these girls apart outside the womb, how the heck am I supposed to tell them apart INSIDE the womb? I doubt they will be suffer any long-term mental anguish if they switch places and Faith becomes Grace and Grace becomes Faith. Whomever is born Baby A will be Faith and whomever is born Baby B will be Grace.

Can you believe we have to think about this stuff?

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, cards, well-wishes and positive energy. Every bit counts and every bit has helped.

Peace.

February 27, 2006

My little boy spent is first night away from home without Mommy or Daddy this weekend.

The three of us met Todd's parents in Luling (you don't know where Luling is? Where have you been? It's about 60 miles east of San Antonio) where we gave them our little bear and all of his accoutrements on Saturday morning. We stood and watched as the green minivan drove off toward Yoakum, taking Devin off to a fun-filled weekend with Grandma and Grandpa.

It went well. Maybe a little too well. He didn't miss us at all! Now he talked a LOT on the phone with us on Saturday night and told us he loved us and missed us, but apparently, not even a tear was shed in missing dear ol' Mom or Dad. Bittersweet. He returned to us on Sunday, completely tired out. Apparently, he had lots and lots of fun!

It was a good trial, though. We know we'll need to rely a LOT on our family members once I check into Methodist Hospital and Resort (chort, chort...). So now we know that he'll do fine without us, whether we like it or not.

I had an appointment with my OB, Dr. Harden today. I mentioned to her that I have been having some contracts lately, although they are very mild and very sporadic.

YIKES! Don't tell your OB this kind of stuff unless you're ready for the wrath of God! Actually, she was very nice, but said in no uncertain terms that I have got to slow it down and take it easy. Easier said than done, there, Dr. H. But I'll see what I can do.

She did a cervix check (by the way, for those of you who don't have kids, you'll find when you or your wife does get pregnant, you'll be slinging around words like "cervix," "vagina," and "penis," like you are saying "meatball," or "dog") and found that I have not dialated any (thankfully), but that the cervix is softening (the pre-curser to dialting). Apparently, I'll be spending a lot more time on the couch. Well shucks...

I see Dr. Higby on Thursday for another marathon ultrasound. More updates then.

Love to all...

February 20, 2006

Okay -- let's talk names, shall we?

Originally, when we were only shocked by the fact that we were having one baby, we were going to have little Delaney Elizabeth or Maximillian (Max) Joseph as the latest addition to our family.

Then came December 9, 2005 when we saw the two heartbeats (recalling that moment still takes my breath away!) and that changed everything! Suddenly, we needed four names to fulfill our needs!

So they became Delaney Elizabeth and Tatum Marie or Liam Thomas and Connor Joseph. We dropped Maximillian because we didn't think it sounded right with any other boy name. How can you have one twin named Max and have any other name live up to it? Unless we named Baby B "Rex" or something of the like, we were going to have to give up on the name Max.

So there we were -- set with names! They were perfect, cute and gave just the sound we were looking for. And they all sounded pretty good with "Pruetz" -- not any easy task with such an unusual and highly mispronounced last name.

But then the bomb dropped: You have may have a really high-risk pregnancy on your hands.

And then the second bomb: You do have a really high-risk pregnancy on your hands.

Well this changed everything -- AGAIN. Suddenly we were staring down the barrel of a gun. By this time, we knew we were having girls and they were possibly slipping away without our ever knowing it.

Our community and our faith jumped more to the forefront of our lives than it had ever been. We began (and still are) praying fervently, without fail, and cherished those who did the same. Everyone we knew became a prayer warrior for us and we felt, and continue to feel, more blessed than we've ever felt before.

But that made us think about the names. Delaney and Tatum are adorable names -- we just loved them. But did they really speak to us? In light of the situation, should we consider something else -- something that really captured who these girls are?

So then it happened: Faith and Hope. It's what was going to be needed to get these girls here -- a lot of faith and hope on our parts and the parts of all of our community. They seemed perfect.

But they weren't. Something kept me from telling everyone that we had named our girls. Maybe it seemed too cliche or maybe it was because there is a TV show named, "Faith and Hope." Regardless, it just didn't seem right.

So one day, Todd and I were talking and I said, "I'm just not sold on Faith and Hope as names. I don't know why." He agreed and we talked about it.

Then it hit us: Grace. That's what we're missing! We need our faith and we need God's grace to get these girls here! Of course, we will always have hope, but hope isn't accomplished without faith and the grace of the Lord is what we're counting on!

So I'm happy to announce, with no apprehension at all, that our two little girls will proudly bear the names Faith Elizabeth and Grace Marie.

February 16, 2006

I have two (count 'em TWO) appointments this week: Monday I saw my OB, Dr. Harden and on Tuesday I saw my perinatologist, Dr. Higby. Here's how it went (because I know you're all hanging on my every word, wondering anxiously just how each of my doctor's appointment went).

Dr. Harden
I was lucky that ZZ went with me when Todd couldn't. Remember, Dr. H delivered Z's twins, Kaelin and Brendan and she came very highly recommended by Z, among a number of others.

This time, I did not wait for an hour for her, but was brought in within minutes! Woo hoo!

Vitals were taken (I gained weight!) and I was plopped in a room. Dr. H walked in shortly after, took at look at my chart, rolled her little doctor chair over to me and said,

"I know Dr. Higby spoke to you about the situation, how critical it is and how little we can do. We need to talk about when you'll go into the hospital. I wouldn't go past 26 weeks."

This put a lump in my throat -- I was thinking more like 28 or 29 weeks, just because I'm not sure I believe the girls should be born that early. We discussed mortality and morbidity rates (NOT something you want to talk about regarding your children, by the way) and told us that the best course of action would be to talk to Dr. Ortiz, the chief neo-natologist at Methodist (where I'll deliver) so he could give us better insight into what to do and when to do it.

I was crying a little and she asked me, "Do you believe in a higher power?" I said, "Definitely" and ZZ quipped, "She's an ACTS sister." ACTS is the women's retreat movement that I've been a part of for nearly four years now. Apparently, Dr. Harden is a sister, too!

She started to quote scripture, telling me to walk with the Word, let my faith be my guide and to be stronger in Christ than I have ever been. I couldn't believe it -- it was one of the best doctor's appointments I've ever had. I just felt so good that she was not only worried about my physical health, but my mental and spiritual health as well. I couldn't be happier.

We did a Level I ultrasound (Z called it the machine that they used on Moses) and saw two heartbeats. That's about all we could see, so we were dismissed.

Dr. Higby
After my awesome appointment with Dr. Harden, I was excited to see the girls on a better, Level II machine.

Again, we were whisked into the room very quickly and the ultrasound was started immediately. There they were, face-to-feet, facing one another, beating the heck out of one another. I couldn't believe I couldn't feel all that movement. I feel a kick here or there, but nothing like what's REALLY happening inside me!

The ultrasound lasted for two hours! It was so long because every time they went to make a measurement, someone's foot would be in the way, an arm would cross into the photo etc.

We got to see Baby A a few times in 3-D. Amazing. I hope I make it to where we can do 3-D and you can really see faces and features. I can't wait!

Dr. Higby came in and we talked about growth (both girls are doing well -- Baby A measured at 17w, 4d and Baby B measured at 17w 5d. At the time of the sonogram, I was 18w, 2d, so they're right on track!), blood flow (all looked well), heart rates (again, everything seemed good) and a lot of other stuff.

Then we talked about the hospital. When to go in, what we'll do, etc. We're looking at 27 weeks, which would be on April 16 -- Easter Sunday. He told us he'd give us one day and let us go in on Monday, April 17. :)

It's not finalized yet - we still need to talk to Dr. Ortiz and Monsignor Fater to get a little more insight into 26 weeks vs. 27 weeks vs. 28 weeks, etc... But I'm guessing it will be around then.

So what does this mean to me? Well, a lot. If I go in at 27 weeks and everything goes well, I'll be there for five weeks, until 32, when Dr. Harden will deliver the babies. After 32 weeks, the risks inside the womb are greater than the risks outside the womb. Can you believe it?

So what do I do with my time in the hospital? Well, that's where you come in! Expect a lot of phone calls and emails (if I can get my hands on a good laptop -- mine ranks up there with Dr. Harden's ultrasound machine in age) from me. I don't know what I will do with all that time! Five weeks of sitting in bed. Now I like my relaxation, but I'm pretty sure doing nothing will get old in a matter of hours.

I'll take all sorts of suggestions on things to do to pass the time. Anything at all. Throw 'em out there. :)

All in all, life is good. I’m doing well (with some “moments” to speak of), the girls are doing well, Todd is doing well and Devin is a devil-in-disguise. I just love it.

I'll keep you posted. Any news can be found here!

Blessings.

February 10, 2006

Happy Birthday, Vanessa! You had one month of still being 29 while I was already 30, but it's all over now! Face it sister...we're old.

Well, it's been a week since the Mo/Mo diagnosis and I thought I should at least post something to let everyone know that I am still functioning.

I won't lie; it's been a hard week. Friday the 3rd was awful as I spent the whole day worrying about my two little girls. Todd took the day off and picked up Devin and I left work around 10:30, so at least I got some extra family time with my favorite boys.

Saturday was hard, too, as I didn't have work to keep my mind off of things and I had lots of time to think, think, think. Sunday was awful -- I knew it would be. Mass is always emotional for me for the zillion reasons I love being Catholic, but, of course, since God works in such a way that He's always talking to you, always giving you what you need when you need it, this Mass was especially hard because the first reading was from Job, talking all about his trials and tests and how his faith in the Lord never ceased.

It didn't take long for me to start crying. And once it started, it hardly stopped. By the time Communion rolled around (the high point of the Mass for just about every Catholic out there), I was a basket case. I was in such outward disrepair that a very nice man two rows behind me sent Kleenex up to me. What an angel.

It didn't help, either, that I had a large community of men and women who wanted to stop and hug me on their way back from the altar, giving me signs of blessings and whispers of prayers. I was overwhelmed by the love that I received, but it also just made me break down that much more.

As the week wore on, things got a little better. This week was our yearly church mission, where a visiting, Redemptorist priest (our pastor is a Redemptorist, so go figure) comes to speak each night for four nights on a number of different topics -- forgiveness, healing, faith, etc. Well, needless to say, each night spoke to me in a different way and by the time I got home, I was emotionally drained.

Now don't get me wrong -- all of these cathartic moments have led to a somewhat more stable Erin. I am seeing things more clearly now and am starting to get a hold of just what it is I need to do.

The truth is, between now and early May, there just isn't much that can be done. It's just a wait-and-see game. All we can do is pray that the girls don't twist and turn so much that they cause their already entwined umbilical cords to compress and cut off circulation to one another.

Of course, once we hit 26 weeks, then the hard part begins. If we make it that far, we have to make the decision as to when I am admitted into the hospital for 24/7 monitoring.

I grapple with this a lot. 26 weeks is just around the time that a baby can survive outside the mother. But it's not without its complications. A 26-weeker has a 60% chance of survival and a 30% chance of major life-long illnesses. So...the question of the week is, "Does just because a baby can be born at 26 weeks, mean he or she should be born at 26 weeks?"

I think my answer is, "No." I just don't think I can risk subjecting my children to lives of pain and suffering just because I said, "Well...I think they should be born.

Of course, there are inherent risks here. What if I wait until 30 weeks and they die at 29 weeks. Will I ever forgive myself? Can I live with my decision, if it results in death for both of the girls?

It's not an easy predicament to be in. But here is the good news: Statistically speaking, none of you will ever have this happen or ever know anyone else that this will happen to. Apparently, it's a one in 15.5 million chance of conceiving Mo/Mo twins.

As Sylvia put it, "Way to over-achieve, Erin!"

Your love, emails, prayers and support have been something that is just hard explain. I've never felt more guided, more touched or more blessed. It's true that when God closes a door, He opens a window. This window is a huge one for me, where I am being allowed to see the most beautiful of the blessings the Lord has to offer and these blessings are all coming in the form of friends and family. I just couldn't have a better life, despite the possibility of a huge loss.

Thank you to all of you. You are loved by the Pruetz family just as you are loving us. May He keep you and everyone you know in the palm of His hand the way He is holding us.

Peace.

Februrary 3, 2006

Here is the post we've all been waiting for: What was the diagnosis of the Pruetz twins?

Well, I won't lie -- it's not good. The diagnosis is Mo/Mo, which means that the girls (yes, girls!) are in one amniotic sac, sharing one placenta. The risks are high -- about as high as you can get with a twin pregnancy. The only higher risk possible would be Mo/Mo triplets, quadruplets, etc...

So here is what Mo/Mo means:

1. Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS): Where one twin gets over-nourished from the shared placenta and the other twin gets undernourished. This is the lowest risk.
2. Cord Entanglement: Where their umbilical cords become entangled around one another and all it takes is one of them to make a sharp movement. As soon as they do, they compress the cord (there is already some cord compression) and cut off blood supplies to both of them. Death is imminent.

There is nothing we can do now, as even if we saw entanglement happening, the only cure is to do a c-section and they are too young to survive outside the womb. We have to wait until 26 weeks (I'm currently 16 weeks and gestation is 40 weeks). 26 weeks it the magic number, as that is when a baby is viable outside the womb. 26 weeks still only carries around a 30% chance of survival.

Then it becomes our call as to what we would like to do. As soon as we say we're ready, I'll be placed in the hospital for 24/7 monitoring and will remain there until one of two things happen: the twins show signs of distress or I reach 32 weeks.

Our doctor was honest with us (which I really appreciate -- this is not a time for sugar-coating) in telling us that this is "Not good - not good at all. If you are going to have twins, this is definitely the situation you want the least." Apparently, it's so rare that the average doctor won't see a set of Mo/Mo twins in his or her entire career. It's about 1 in 60,000 identical twin births. Identical twins are 1 in 258 births.

The truth is, all hope is not lost, but we stand a higher risk of losing both babies than keeping one or both. It's just that critical.

I'm doing okay. I cried a lot of tears upon our exit from the doctor's office and while I managed to keep it together at a meeting today, I lost it in my boss' office when I told her the news. Thankfully, she was warm, supportive and said all of the right things.

Todd is doing about the same. He's my rock, as he always has been, and is being so strong for all of us. But I know he's hurting inside, especially since he's always wanted girls. Please keep him in your prayers.

It's easier for me to type about this situation than it is for me to talk about it, so please, if you'd like to talk, email me. It's not that I wouldn't love to hear the sound of your voice and have a conversation with you, but I just can't cry anymore. I don't think I have any tears left!

If you pray, your prayers are appreciated. If you believe in cosmic energy, then good vibes are appreciated. Whatever you can spare, we'll take it.

Thank you all for your support and love. Todd and I are already (less than 24 hours post diagnosis!) overwhelmed by the incredible outpouring of friendship we've received. We're surrounded by angels and are so blessed.

Peace.

January 26, 2006

I'm at a loss here. I really don't have anything pregnancy-related to post. Things are still going well -- feeling better each day, some back pain here and there, but what's pregnancy without back pain? Our Level II ultrasound isn't until next Thursday and I haven't seen or talked to a doctor since our appointment ten days ago with Dr. Harden.

But I hate the thought of having a two-week-plus gap in my postings (I'm totally aware of my OCD tendencies), so I thought I'd post just for the sake of posting.

This morning, on my way into the office, I listened to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning.

* Let me insert a side-note here about San Antonio radio: IT SUCKS. There is not a single decent radio station in town and morning shows are no different -- there is just not a thing to listen to during either drive time. Each morning when I get into the office, I log onto KSCS.com and click on "Listen Live" so I can enjoy my favorite radio show from Dallas. I miss the Dorsey Gang to no end...

So a few months ago, one of the Clear Channel radio stations in town (remember: Clear Channel is headquartered here in San Antonio, so we're rife with Clear Channel stations) got rid of their morning show to bring in the syndicated Kidd Kraddick in the morning show. The city was up in arms about it, but I was thrilled. Kidd isn't my favorite, but at least it's entertainment!

So today Kidd, Kellie and Al were talking about their guilty pleasure songs. You know what those are -- the songs you keep on your iPod and in your CD player, but that you would NEVER let anyone know you listen to. I laughed out loud as Kidd admitted to loving "I love you, always forever" by some chick we've never heard from again and that Kellie is a fan of "I touch myself" by the Devynals (I care not if I spelled that correctly).

I was laughing out loud at this because I am the QUEEN of this stuff. I not only own guilty pleasure songs, but entire guilty pleasure CDs -- all of which I am going to come forward with today. I'm shedding all of my inhibitions and letting everyone I know hear about the most embarassing music I listen to.

CDs

Asia's Greatest Hits

"The Innocence" by Erasure

"Flood" by They Might Be Giants (of course, anyone I went to college with will remember that at one time, I blasted this atrocity with reckless abandon)

"Greatest Country Hits of the 1980s" (including "I Love a Rainy Night" by Eddie Rabbit -- that's for you Sylvia).

Ray Steven's Greatest Hits (admit it Karen, you do too -- because I bought it for you!)

Songs

"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix Alot

"My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas

"Goldigga" by Kanye West
side note: I realize that the last two aforementioned songs are actually current hits, but for someone who is a self-proclaimed country-music- and 80s-rock-only listener, these are pretty embarassing.

"I'll Remember You" by Skid Row

Yes, I am sure there are zillions more, but I'm drawing a blank. I'll add more as I continue to recall how much ridiculous music I own.

I'd like to make this blog interactive -- post your most embarassing CDs and songs or email me and I'll include them in additions to this post. I'd love to hear about the other terrible music choices others make. ;)

Oh, and moms, kid-friendly CDs don't count. Otherwise, I'd be having to list things like "The Wiggles" and "Tonka Trucks Songs" and I refuse -- those aren't my fault.

Love to all.

PS - I just read some comments along the blog and I was wondering who would be the first person to notice that these posts are all at like 6:30 a.m. The prize goes to Paul Peltier! Congrats, Paul! The truth is, I make it a rule to not do anything that requires brain power before 9 a.m. each day and that includes blogging. I think that Blogger.com is headquartered in California (or somewhere in the Pacific time zone) and that makes the default times two hours behind Texas times. Rest assured that I am not blogging at 6:30 a.m -- I'm just too lazy to change the time. :)

Chris -- yes, I was a little perplexed by your first comment, but it wasn't hard to figure out after you mentioned "Malibu" and "Hey Guy." (which, you're right, I never called you. You'll always be Mistopher Christopher to me) I promise I'm not avoiding your calls -- I just can't seem to get to the phone when you call. I miss you and love you -- I hope we can talk soon.

January 19, 2006

Bridget Cullen, if you're reading this, happy 30th birthday! I love you!

Wow -- two posts from me in one week? What are the odds? Lately, pretty slim! But with the onset of my new doctors, there's more happening.

It looks like we'll be seeing Dr. Higby on February 2 at 1:45 p.m. for our Level II ultrasound.

I'm pretty excited about it. Apparently, these things are just fantastic. They have much higher definition and resolution than a regular (Level I?) sonogram and you can see so much more. When ZZ had a Level II around this time (she was 17 weeks) they found out the sexes of both of the babies. That would be great -- I'm excited to know if we're having boys or girls (or one of each, which is still possible).

I'm pretty nervous, too, though. Ever since finding out I was pregnant, I've had a sinking feeling about it all. Like something bad is going to happen to one of the babies. In my heart, I think Baby B (the one who is always hiding from us) isn't doing very well. Nothing we've seen thus far has indicated that something is wrong, but I've just got this nagging feeling and I'm wondering if the Level II sonogram will confirm it.

It is pretty funny, though, that Baby B (they name the one closest to the cervix Baby A and the one farthest away Baby B) is always hiding. We've had the hardest time finding him/her. We've had three sonograms now and each time it's been a quest to find Baby B. Todd has decided that this child will be the world champion hide-n-seek player. Of course since Devin will become Pope, we need to find a good title for Baby A.

Any suggestions?

January 17, 2006

Okay, yes, I know it's been two weeks since my last post. And apparently, I have a lot of fans of this blog (who knew? I thought I'd be the only one reading it!), so I apologize to all of those who are waiting anxiously for the next installment of "As the Stomache Churns" (a brief nod to my morning sickness).

The reason I haven't done much blogging lately is because there really isn't much to tell. I have been slowly starting to feel better (although nausea still rears its ugly head now and then and fatigue has become as familiar as the back of my hand) and regain my life. I still spend a lot of time sleeping and, thankfully, Todd has been so good about picking up my slack. I'm very lucky.

But now there is news to report! We saw our new doctor (Dr. Harden) yesterday and just fell in love with her. She sat down with us and explained her practice. She does 80% of all of her own deliveries and apologized in advance when she runs behind -- she just wants to be available for all of her patients every chance she can get. I was duly impressed and totally disarmed after spending nearly an hour in the waiting room.

They took all of my vitals and while I seem to have LOST five pounds (why can't I do that when I'm not pregnant?), it may just be a fluctuation in the scale at my first doctor's office and this new scale, so no one seemed to be alarmed. Everything else looked good.

We did a quick sonogram and there they were -- both babies. I have to admit here that I am still in shock from the news of twins and each time we have a sonogram, I wonder if there was a mistake and there's only one in there. Of course, if only one were found, I'd be devastated and probably lose it, but on a daily basis, I am still having a hard time wrapping my mind around twins.

But both were there and I'd better come to terms with this news pretty quickly.

Both babies looked good with strong heartbeats, but again, there was some question as to the presence of a membrane. In my first two sonograms, there was no membrane visible. Yesterday was the same -- Dr. Harden thought she might have seen one, but couldn't really tell. If it was there, it was barely visible and very thin.

So we're off to see Dr. Higby, a high-risk specialist who does Level Two sonograms. Instead of waiting until 18 weeks, we'll go ahead and have one done at 16 weeks (I'm currently 14 weeks) to get a definitive answer on this missing membrane issue.

This is a cause for concern. Only about 1% of all twin pregnancies are sans membrane, meaning that both babies are in one amniotic sac. If such is the case, it's considered a very high-risk pregnancy because the babies could become tangled in one another's umbilical cords. Apparently there are other risks, too, but I can't even bring myself to talk about them. They're too horrible.

While my gut instict says that all is fine, I still can't help but worry. These are my kids and I can't bear the thought of anything happening to them. If you are one to pray, please pray that we find a membrane and that all labs indicate good health.

Thanks for keeping up with my blog and for being interested in my life with twins-to-be.

Peace.

January 3, 2006

Well I thought I would get some blogging done over my 12-day vacation, but it just wasn't meant to be. Poor Devin got all sorts of sick over the break and I spent most of my time taking care of him, doing nebulizer treatments and Albuterol inhalers. He's doing much better.

As am I! Sunday, January 1 marked 12 weeks for me and the twins and, as promised, I'm starting to feel much better. I still get bouts of nausea, especially in the evenings, but I'm not spending my days hunched over a toilet anymore. I've also got a lot more energy -- I'm not taking two and three hour naps, but rather am back to my 15-30 minute naps.

Christmas was wonderful at the Pruetz house. We did the usual Christmas Eve Mass at 4:00 and Bar-b-que at ZZ's house afterwards. Then we started opening gifts. Wrapping paper was flying everywhere as Devin tore into everyone else's presents along with his own. It was pretty funny!

That night Devin went to bed without a fuss and woke up asking if Santa had come. Sure enough, Saint Nick had left a number of gifts underneath the tree, including a train set, a cleaning set (so he can "help" me clean the house), lots of books, lots of Hot Wheels and about a zillion other things. It was so fun watching him play all day.

We had a great dinner at our house and spend the day playing with the kids and enjoying Christmas. It couldn't have been better.

The Babies Pruetz seems to be doing just fine. I'm starting to really get big and it's fun now that we're past 12 weeks and can really let everyone know our good news! Devin hasn't quite figured out exactly what it means that we're having a baby (let alone TWO babies), but he's very sweet and likes to "kiss" his brothers and sisters by laying a lip-smacker on my tummy. Too cute.

As life gets more interesting, I'll post more exciting stuff.

Happy 2006!

December 21, 2005

Four more days, four more days...

It's been an interesting 24 hours in the Pruetz house. Yesterday started like any other -- I went to work, left to get some stuff done and picked up Devin at noon. We came home, played for a little while and then we both took naps.

ZZ brought Addy and Presley over while she took her twins to the doctor. While she was gone, I noticed that I had started spotting. Now I spotted a little on Thanksgiving day and it was no big deal. But this was significantly more and now that twins are in the mix, it could mean any number of things. The night before, too, I had had some cramping, which I'd thought nothing of. Now, suddenly, it took on new meaning.

ZZ promptly returned for her kids and I told her about my discovery. She urged me to call my doctor and sure enough, as she predicted, they asked me to come in to be checked out.

Z agreed to take Devin and I called Todd to let him know what was going on. Todd came home, gathered us up and we dropped Devin off at the Mylar house.

We got to the doctor's office and they got us in pretty quickly. Then we waited and waited and waited in the exam room. Finally, Dr. Troy (one of Dr. Casiano's partners) came in and did an exam. No bleeding from the cervix, everything looked a-okay.

So he suggested a sonogram, just to make sure that there were still two heartbeats.

Sure enough, I laid on the table and he squirted the jelly on my tummy (why can't they make that stuff WARM? I mean, come on, we can put a man on the moon, but...). He started the ultrasound and lo and behold, there they were. Two babies, two heartbeats. It was awesome.

It had only been 11 days since our last sonogram, but the little dots we saw on the screen on December 9 looked like little humans this time! We saw heads, arms, legs, torsos, etc. And boy, were they moving! Todd has now taken to calling them the jumping beans. They were squirming all over the place. I can only imagine what it's going to feel like come 20 weeks or so...

So all looked fine. Two strong heartbeats and two well-developing babies. We breathed a sigh of relief and enjoyed the opportunity to get to see our little ones, especially now that they look like little ones and not like blobs. And there was still no sign of two sacs, lending credence to the argument that we're having identical twins.

I have to admit that since our last ultrasound I have been thinking to myself, "Maybe there was a mistake. Maybe it's NOT twins." While I love the idea of having twins, I am definitely scared and this was my version of denial. No way, though...there were definitely two people growing inside me.

We are eternally grateful that God heard our prayers and kept our babies safe. We were preparing for the worst news, but instead got the best. We are very lucky.

If I don't post again before Christmas, blessings to you and your families this holiday and throughout 2006.

Peace on Earth.

December 19, 2005

Only six days until Christmas! I just LOVE this time of year and now that Devin has a vague understanding of Santa Claus and that presents will be left under the tree for him on Christmas morning, the season has taken on a whole new meaning. It's so fun to see the excitement on his face as he approaches the fireplace, peers up the chimney and yells, "Santa! Are you coming?"

The only damper that has been put on this wonderful holiday is morning sickness. What idiot came up with that name, anyway? Obviously, it was a man. There is nothing morning about morning sickness. It lasts all day! I'm still trotting off to drive the porcelain Porsche at 10:00 at night. It's way worse this time around -- I only hurled a few times with Devin, but am prone to puking a half dozen times each day. My abs are getting really tight...

Todd and I have decided to switch doctors. ZZ, mother of twins, urged me to call the doctor who delivered Brendan and Kaelin because she felt like she got very good care from Dr. Harden during her pregnancy. Dr. Harden has a lot of experience in multiple births and has a lot of connections with specialists around San Antonio. Also, when Dr. Harden delivers babies at Methodist Hospital which has a Level 3 Neo-natal ICU (NICU). Apparently, it's one of the best in the state.

So we mulled over the idea of switching doctors for awhile. My doctor, Victor Casiano, has been with me for four years. He delivered Devin, did my laparascopic surgery and is very, very near to our home. It was hard to decide on making the switch.

Until Friday, December 16.

I went in for my 3:45 appointment. I was left sitting in the waiting room for about 35 minutes when I was finally called back. My weight was taken (I actually lost weight, but apparently, this is no big deal) and then I was stuck in another waiting room for ten minutes. Then to the exam room where I waited another 20. If you're doing the math, it's now 4:50.

Dr. Casiano finally comes in and says, "Well, you're 9.5 weeks which means it's too early to hear a heartbeat. Do you have any questions? If not, you're free to leave if you're ready. How are you feeling?"

I told him I was fine, despite the typical morning sickness, but that I was pretty floored by the news.

"What news?"

"The news that it's twins."

"You're having twins???" He flips open my chart and says, "Well look at that -- you sure are. Congratulations. We'll have to monitor you a little more closely."

Does anyone else see a problem with this picture? Why did I have to tell my doctor that I'm having twins? And what's with this, "We'll have to monitor you a little more closely..." When Z was pregnant with twins she was monitored like she was the Queen of the World! Sonograms every week to make sure she wasn't dilating, blood work, checkups -- the works!

So, it was decided then and there -- I am switching to Dr. Harden where I feel like I will be more than just another patient who is bothering the doctor for his/her time.

So there.

Six more days... Six more days...

Keep Christ in Christmas.

December 12, 2005

I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with this news. I spend a lot of time staring at the ultrasound photos. It's mind boggling.

Don't get me wrong -- Todd and I are thrilled by this blessing and are ecstatic that God has chosen US for this very special mission. But wow...

The more I ready about identical twins, the more I realize how unlikely it is that we have conceived them. It seems that the universal, rounded-off number is about four in every thousand births are identicals. But if you add in some extra variables, the number goes up.

1. White women are the least likely to conceived identicals. Women of African descent are the most likely.
2. Women starting in their mid-to-late 30s into their 40s are more likely to conceive identicals than women in their 20s and early 30s. I am 29 now and will be 30 when the twinkies are born
3. The more pregnancies you've had the more likely you are to get twins. I've had only one.
4. Women in the United States are pretty unlikely to conceive identical twins. There's some debate on who has the highest rate, but it's definitely not the good ol' US of A.

And, contrary to popular belief, identical twins do not run in families. There's nothing genetic about it.

Fraternal twins are genetic. You could have a genetic propensity to ovulate more than one egg in a cycle and conceive two unique babies.

But a zygote that freakishly decides to divide itself into two separate babies is a fluke and something that has nothing to do with the mother or the father's families.

So there's my lesson on identical twins. There is still a small chance these are fraternal twins, but according to Veronica, our sonographer, it's more than likely that it's identical. One embryonic sac = identical twins.

Blessings.

December 9, 2005

Oh my gosh. This will be one of those days I will never forget. There are really only a few of these days that I can honestly say I'll never forget.

1. September 29, 2001: My wedding day
2. November 15, 2002: The day I found out I was pregnant with Devin
3. July 11, 2003: The day Devin was born
4. November 7, 2005: The day I found out I was pregnant again
5. December 9, 2005: TODAY - The day I found out I was having twins.

That's right -- as of today, our future lives have changed again. Twice in a month. We went from saying, "Wow - we're having another baby," to saying, "Wow - we're having TWINS!"

It started out like any other day. We got up, Todd took Devin to school and I went to work. I was off at noon, picked up Devin and we both went home for our respective naps (hey -- I'm pregnant). I woke up around 2:30, got dressed and freshened up and woke Devin up. We drove over to Aunt Z's house and said our goodbyes.

I was running a little late, as was Todd, and we happened to walk into the doctor's office at almost the exact same time. We sat in the waiting room, expecting nothing but the norm: a strong heartbeat, a good, healthy pregnancy. The usual.

Actually, I have to amend that statement. I have had a weird feeling about this pregnancy since I found out on November 7. Something inside me just said, "There's something different." I even discussed it with my co-workers Connie and Polina and, of course, with Todd. I just assumed whatever it was was bad -- I mean, there was no chance of this being twins, so what else could it be? It had to be bad: an ectopic pregnancy, a weak heartbeat. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I knew it wouldn't be normal.

Well aren't I the prophetic one?

The sonographer called us in and led us to the sonography room. I got undressed and Todd stood behind the sonographer (Veronica -- I'm sure I'll never forget her name). I had a little screen right next to me and Todd got to look at the big screen.

Veronica started the sonogram and about 30 seconds into it, said, "Hmmmm...did you take any fertility drugs?" I am such an air-head. "No," I answered, not thinking twice about why she would ask that. I was just having a great time seeing parts of my body that I don't normally get to see. I mean, really, ladies...how many times have YOU gotten a close up our YOUR ovaries?

Then Todd saw it. Or them, rather. He asked, "What is that? Is that TWO heartbeats?"

I about jumped off the table. What was he talking about? This isn't TWINS! I mean, how could HE see it before me? Preposterous. There's no way.

But then Veronica said it.

"Well, I didn't want to say anything too soon, but..."

HOLY SH*T.

This is when Veronica turned around and asked Todd if he was going to faint. He was fine -- just crying. So was I.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep -- look. Here's baby A and here's baby B."

She measured them (baby A is tracking at 8 weeks, 4 days and baby B is tracking at 8 weeks, 1 day. I was officially 8 weeks, 5 days today, so they're right on track) and we heard their two distinct heart beats. No doubt about it -- this is twins.

The rest of the sonogram went fine and we were asked to wait to see if Dr. Casiano wanted to see us. Veronica came back a few minutes later and announced that Dr. C was in surgery until 4:00, but that he would call us to talk about this. According to her, this is a high-risk pregnancy (for no reason other than it being twins) and special precautions will have to be taken.

So we left. That deer-in-the-headlights look all over again. Todd left to go to the store and I went to pick up Devin.

I called Dad and Jean along the way. First at home with no answer and then on Jean's cell phone. I happened to catch them together, in the car. I told Jean, "Well, we had our first sonogram today." "And...?" she asked. "And, you're not just expecting grandbaby #8, but grandbaby #9 too."

Silence.

"Erin -- you're having twins?" "Yep!" (Jean, in a much louder voice) "TOM! ERIN'S HAVING TWINS!"

We spoke for a few minutes about Todd's and my mental states and then she passed the phone to my dad. He stuttered, "HUH? WHU? TWI? TWI? TWINS?????" I don't remember the last time I heard my dad be genuinely surprised. He's a pretty sly man (anyone who was at our wedding may remember his toast about being a "fox") and he is really hard to surprise. But this did it! I could tell that both Jean and Dad were very happy and that just warmed my heart.

I arrived at Z's house as she was getting Devin out her car (they'd taken a little excursion to Target together). I parked in the driveway and she was in the garage. I got out of my car and just stood there. She said, "Are you okay? What happened?" All I could do was hold up two fingers.

She ran to me and demanded to see the sonogram photos. She thought I was lying! But there it was in black and white: TWINS. Baby A and baby B. She cried too.

And that was it. When we got home, Todd and I proceeded to call and email as many people as we could. We finally put down the phone and said, "Let's just absorb it all." All of the others would have to wait until this weekend or later next week.

So that's it. I had to write it down ASAP so I wouldn't forget a single detail. This is a day I'll never, ever forget.

We're having twins.

Peace, x2

December 5, 2005

Apparently, according to my dear friend and OCD compadre Kristen Foster, I am not creating enough entries. Forget the fact that I work in the mornings and have to keep a two-year-old entertained in the afternoons, all-the-while trying to keep my house clean, my cats and dog fed, shop (and wrap) for the holidays and create life! Certainly there should be time for blogging in there, too, right?

Okay, Kristen, I'm only kidding. The truth of the matter is that I am a little wacky about personal blogs too (I'm the same as you, Lindsay). I've been checking co-worker Polina's personal blog now for months, but her most recent entry (which was only her SECOND entry) was Thursday, February 24, 2005. I'm starting to get antsy here, Polly.

As for me, life is good. I had a very weird experience last week in that I went to bed on Tuesday night with typical pregnancy symptoms ... nausea, extreme fatigue, achiness, etc. But I woke up on Wednesday feeling great. And again on Thursday. And Friday. And the whole weekend. I started to get a little worried and called my doctor, but the nurse said it's nothing to worry about. Some days are better than others. Well ain't that the truth? It just seemed strange that I went from operating at about 15% to operating at 99% in a few hours. I'm still a little uneasy about the whole thing, but I've got my first ultrasound on Friday and that should give us all of the information we need like heartbeat, size, etc. I have to admit -- I 'm looking forward to it.

I wish we could tell the sex of the baby this time around, but, unfortunately, it's too early. I'm convinced it's a girl. Since I was young, I've always had a gut instinct that I would have two kids -- a boy first and then a girl. I was 100% convinced that Devin was a boy and I feel the same confidence with this one as well.

Of course, watch me fall flat on my face. We'll find out the sex in March and I can just see me posting a blog that day: "Well, after spouting off for months and months about how I was POSITIVE that this would be a girl, it looks like we'll be decorating in blue."

Not that I would mind another boy. I just adore being the mommy of a little boy. And as my neighbor Lisa (mother of two boys) said, "If you have a girl, you'll have a best friend. If you have a boy, Devin will have a best friend." What a perfect way to look at it -- it's a no-lose situation. I couldn't be more excited about little Max or little Delaney.

I guess that's all for now. Comments are welcome, even if it's a comment on how darned boring this blog is. I'll take what I can get.

Cheers (with non-alcoholic beverages, of course).

E